He always looked behind him
Scared somebody would jump him
Put him on the ground so he'd come around
To the sound of people laughing

'Cause the whole world loved to mock him
Sun and moon both pointed at him
Kids would crick their necks to get a better view

Well, it really did his mind in
And we wanted to protect him
So we placed his face in a smash-proof case and placed it
In the fridge

They giggled in the corners
Whispered lies across the borders
They derided him and chided him
'Till he carried out their orders

So he dashed into the limelight
Played at Hamlet for a fortnight
Waved his arms and screamed demands for some respect

But they just could not excuse him
It was really too amusing
So he packed his sack and scrambled back to safety
In the fridge

And I swear I saw his spirit
Skim the sky with nothing near it
Piled armour-plated roller skates
White feather train to steer it

Scared somebody would look up
Gesticulate and throw up
Send him flitting, flitting, scarred behind a cloud

But for him, there's no escaping
No hole big enough to hide in
Best just to stay nicely out the way in safety
In the fridge

In the village bells were tolling
In the town the dogs were howling
It was Armageddon, tanks crashed head-on
Planet Earth was drowning

Then the Devil sent a shower
Europe died in half an hour
And a demon wind just finished off the rest

But our friend, he took a teabreak
Idly munching on a fish cake
Quite oblivious and ignorant but cozy
In the fridge

It's so cold there, in the fridge
It's so icy, frosty